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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

When All Is Said and Done

Well, we've all come to the end of another year. I'm not a great believer in celebrating everything (and believe me, it won't be a celebration in a literal sense for me - just a great, big milestone in that I'm glad I'm alive at the end of). 

2008 was a shit load of shit. There is no other way of putting it. 

2008 was... family gathering into family tolerating into family loathing. It was a drop of sane in a sea of insane. 2008 was an issue for my mental health. It was spirit-crushing, self-esteem tearing, complete annihalation for my formal ideals. It was the breakdown of a once promising career in academics, relationships, and reasonablly positive emotions . There are countless people and friendships who have changed into things I never would've even imagined them to be. In my point of view, 2008 was simply a total lack of disrespect for life.

Yerp. Insomnia got really bad, I spent ages in the bathroom (not that I chose that location for any particular reason. Humans are naturally territorial animals and I found my bedroom was too big [oh, and when I say bathroom, I mean, the room in which the bathroom is, as opposed to toilet) thinking about the apparent demise of my life aand... I'm proud to say I had a mental breakdown and I'm perfectly sane now. Sure, maybe not jumping-over-the-moon happy just yet, but sane, which is better than I've ever been all year.

I've got to admit, though, the shit was pretty educational.

I remember everything I was feeling at this moment 365 days ago and boy, I would sell my a lung, part of my liver, a kidney and possibly my appendix to go back. Not that there's anything wrong with what's waiting for me in the future, but hey, it was a pretty good feeling, and I would do anything to warn myself of what was to come.

Oh well. I'm done with whining. I brought it on myself anyway. I hope we all have a wonderful year in '09, and be eternally grateful that this wretched one is now about to end. 

*wanting-to-be-aloned-ness* See you next year.

Neither you nor I'm to blame when all is said and done.
Once I lost my way when something good had just begun. Lesson learned, it's history when all is said and done.

comment HERE.





i am

vivien, and i ask you to convince me of otherwise.

i'd like to be

a musician
a scientist
a thinker
a photographer
a time traveler
under the sea,
in an octopus' garden
in the shade.

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