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Friday, May 22, 2009


Everything's changing from the initial novelty and high of new things to a comparatively, complete low.

There are no new people to meet, no new bus routes to try.  No reason to pretend that you need a friend to show you the ropes, and no reason not to know. There's no more reason to force yourself to keep an open mind, to keep reminding yourself that first impressions shouldn't count, and that opportunities should be given before judgement.

No, that isn't how it works. Everything is hyped up, and you know things can only get worse from there. Optimism is flawed, realism is impossible and pessimism is potentially dangerous.

I feel so lost right now. 

The people who I consider my friends are constantly changing and shifting. I dread the activities  my weeks once relvolved around. My doubts towards and kind of stability have increased tenfold, not to mention the sheer amount of work that is just piling up at the moment.

Careers Counselling just made me realise so much more that I don't know what I want to do, right now, or ever.

Roots haven't grown, and there isn't yet a strong enough tree for me to lean on.

comment HERE.

i am

vivien, and i ask you to convince me of otherwise.

i'd like to be

a musician
a scientist
a thinker
a photographer
a time traveler
under the sea,
in an octopus' garden
in the shade.