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Monday, November 23, 2009

circles and experiments

So here I am again today, one year after that fateful viewing of the terrible movie, "The Women" [see November 2008 post archives], with my dear friend Angela.

I sit here, fifteen years of age today when yesterday I was but fourteen. By some craazy act of coincidence, that is what I said about turning fourteen. And thirteen. And twelve. And all other preceding years, of which there really aren't that many. As my other dear friend, Harry, said; "The very idea of being not being mature enough to do stupid things (ie. alcohol, sex, driving, the paying of full prices...) on one day and mature enough the next is simply moronic."

After 365 days, I have come around again in a full circle. Life seems to be like that, doesn't it? Just one big circle. I cannot understand how most people can continue to be excited by constantly recurring events. Each year, I feel no different towards Christmas. Each year, I feel no different towards a new year. Each year, I feel no different towards my birthday. Each year, I continue to not understand how people can be excited by constantly recurring events.

Excuses to do things out of the ordinary bore and anger me. Do things simply because you want to, and don't do them when you don't want. Fuck Christmas.

I think I have a fair point when I compare life to old, repetitive, flash games based on a simple concept like Minesweeper, Tetris or Space Invaders. The ideas and rules governing the game will always be the same, yet the immeasurable number of situations that are possible in these games (not to mention the infinitely large combination of player reactions) provides for a different captivating game scenario each time. Kind of like independent and dependent variables in a scientific experiment. You change an IV, which in turn affects the DV, but the procedure essentially remains the same. It's just the outcome that differs.

Does this make life one big, circular science experiment..?


[Edit; Now that I think about it, I propose that it would be quite exhilarating to live life justifiably systematically; if you only changed one variable each time a similar situation arose, and physically found and listed the consequences of each individual action. Organisation skills, ahoy!]

comment HERE.

i am

vivien, and i ask you to convince me of otherwise.

i'd like to be

a musician
a scientist
a thinker
a photographer
a time traveler
under the sea,
in an octopus' garden
in the shade.