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Tuesday, December 1, 2009


I love it when it's so dark around you that you can't differentiate between having your eyes open or your eyes closed. There have even been times when the light was only just bright enough for me to call 'dim', making me see my world in shades grey. I think that's pretty special.

It's kind of crazy how men are only equal in death. Even then, some are buried in nicer places than others. Or are actually buried at all, for that matter. But, you know, some make freaking billions in dying - oh hello, Michael Jackson's father! I didn't see you there. Eh. All the same really, isn't it?

Otherwise, I haven't really thought/learnt/observed that much about the world, anyone else or even myself for that matter. I'm much to tired to do so.

I just feel so "rough around the edges" lately. Being polished can be saved for when it matters.

Being honest with myself, I really have no other outlook on life at this very moment (and being -completely- honest, that is, quite blatantly, PATHETIC), so here is a list of things that I want to know a heck of a lot about:

- CHEMISTRY: I like it.
- COMPUTER SCIENCE: iterated functions!
- CRIMINOLOGY-related stuff: just to tie some of these things together.
- ENGINEERING: so that I can make things awesome.
- HISTORY: mostly modern history, but then some ancient, because that's really interesting
- LAW: but leaning towards the debating side of things - chance to employ my psychology skills here?
- LINGUISTICS: and hence, Latin + Greeky things
- MATHEMATICS: cryptology, codes, patterns and stuff (hurrah factorials!)
- MUSIC: I love it.
- PSYCHOLOGY: to know creepy stuff about people and how they think.
- PHYSICS: at the quantum level, but then at like the really big level too.
- SOCIOLOGY: social networks and the mathematics behind them, why some people choose to be stupid.. things like that.

Hopefully I will stumble across this list when I'm on my deathbed and regret all the things that I did not end up knowing. Then, I will truly know that I am human, and that I sucked at life.. as humans do.

comment HERE.

i am

vivien, and i ask you to convince me of otherwise.

i'd like to be

a musician
a scientist
a thinker
a photographer
a time traveler
under the sea,
in an octopus' garden
in the shade.