One of my favourite things to do is to find a small, out of the way coffee shop with nice people, plays nice music, serves nice food, whilst reading a nice book, all by myself. I like to sit near the door, or facing the street so I can watch the faces of the people who judge me as they walk in or pass me by. I like to see them quickly look away as I catch their eyes, knowing the presumptuous conclusions they make in their minds as to why I may be alone. It fascinates me that it would even cross their minds that I did not choose to be my own company - I am more often lonely by my own decision than not.
It may sound obnoxious to say something like that, and I don't know how many people out there think similarly. I'm not suggesting that I am popular beyond comprehension or anything of the sort - simply that there have been more than one occasions where I have politely declined, for example, lunch with coworkers in to quickly grab a quiche and read instead.. To me, it just seems that the older I become, the more social expectations are pushed onto my being - to actively contribute to family gatherings, parties, outings with friends or, to have lunch with coworkers, to use the example above.
All I am getting at, is that, now more than ever, I know that the few minutes I am able to spend alone each day are dwindling, I do the best I can to treasure these minutes, and I chuckle at those who can't understand what they're missing out on..
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