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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Afraid

I don't know why it's taken me so long to come back here.

I think it's hard for me to come to terms with the fact that I have learned to love my mother. I have subsequently learned to be heart-broken when the things I value are taken from me.

I find that there are harder things to come to terms with, though, like how with this new presence, will, suffering and tremendous effort in bettering my existence I find in my mother is juxtaposed against the void I associate with my father has rendered me completely and utterly afraid that I will not feel anything when he dies. His physical absence in my life inversely proportional to my emotional absence towards him.

But nobody deserves that.

comment HERE.





i am

vivien, and i ask you to convince me of otherwise.

i'd like to be

a musician
a scientist
a thinker
a photographer
a time traveler
under the sea,
in an octopus' garden
in the shade.

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