People often tell me how miraculously coincidental it is that life exists on earth, or that the chances of all the right conditions coming together to allow for life are massively tiny. They ask, "Do you have any idea of how much needed to come together for us to be having this conversation today?"

Labels: everything, existence, life, universe

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Wow. 

Labels: (y), fall, happy, life, lolz, people, QASMT is funzles :DD, scooters, vacation, your mum

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Do any of you ever ponder about the people you thought you'd die without, yet you live your life everday as if they may as well never have existed? The people who were the reason you woke up each morning just to see at school. People whom you'd spend every waking moment thinking about them/something related to them.

To be honest though, there have been so many people who were the very centres of my world at different points in my life. I would've done a double take in disbelief at the very mention of the fact that I would not ever see them again by the time I reach 14. I constantly question myself as to how exactly I am living without their influence, when they were once the very composition of my living.

How am I doing it? Why is it that now, I get up for an entirely different group of people, and I don't give a damn that my old friends aren't going to be there when I get to school? What thoughts have now replaced those once centred around particular people? Is it my place to say that there may not ever be a group of people that I will know for the rest of my life, or, quite bluntly, that there will never be anyone I will not be able to live without?

I know this is relatively harsh and cold, but it's reality. No, I am not suggesting that I haven't appreciated my friendships enough, or that I regret the downfalls of some of my relationships - things are the way things are, and I'm happy with the way things are. We can say from day to day "Best Friends Forever" or "I love you", but we cannot mask the fact that one day, we may not be with the same people, and that we will live without them, so enjoy it while it lasts.

To quote Tim Minchin's song for the Comedy Gala, "If I didn't have you, I would probably have someone else."

Labels: fall, friends, life, people, scooters, vacation, with or without you, woah that's some deep shit

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I think I'm hitting one of those mid-teen crisis...es?

Some people will probably be happy to hear that I'm not as happy as I thought I would be, but up yourrrrrrrrs, bitch.

Life is just one big, fat, manic Monday at the moment, and like the song, I'm wishing it was Sunday.

Everything is just suddenly dawning on me; I don't actually go to JPC anymore, and QASMT isn't a 3 year long science workshop.

I'm reaching a cross-road in my life where I have to decide to change myself to be liked by people I hate, or be happy being different. And yes, I'm beginning to realise that I think quite differently to most people of my age. And I'm beginning to realise that it's quite difficult for me to relate to most people of my age - either I grow down to the big, black pit that is raging hormones and popularity-seeking, or I waste my life waiting for someone to understand me.

I don't want to be popular or cool or even well-liked. All I want is a NICE friend, lol. There aren't enough nice people in the world. I want to find someone/group of people even relatively similar to myself. I miss wondering about the world with people, and I miss discovering things about ourselves. But I guess one of my problems is that I understand myself and other people a bit too much. Plus, I don't exactly physically look like a reject either. I just think like one, and a unique reject at that too... which would probably mean that I'd be rejected from the rejects as well.

Gahh. I don't know what to do.

Labels: crossroads, fall, life, manic monday, reject, sadface, scooters, vacation

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For the past couple of weeks, my sleeping patterns have been completely out of whack and notoriously inconvienient for my schooling life. However, this morning, for no apparent reason, I woke at 4:30, and I wanted to take advantage of this blissful lonliness.

Face unwashed, stomach empty and my hair done up in a crude ponytail, I decided that I would take my dog and me somewhere that would be, for the moment, completely untouched by human life: my driveway.

No matter how far I had looked, the human world was dead to me. What I could see, however, were snippets of what civilisation had created for itself, without any sort of civilisation in it at all. All I could hear were my dog's panting, the birds chirping away, and the crickets buzzing as they marked the approaching summer.

I thought about all the trees that once stood where I was sitting, and then I observed all the ones which humans had planted. It occured to me at that moment, that nobody, not even I, had ever seen, or would ever get to see exactly the same thing as what I saw then and there - creatures will never cease growing and dying; birds will not ever take the same flight path; cars will never be parked in the exact same place.

It was then I realised, it is not freedom of choice or intelligience that labels humans above other life forms, but rather, change, while maintaining a constant that is the underlying principle of survival. Creation in its ultimate wisdom, created a matrix of infinite possiblities which would keep the world moving forward.

Humans may never experience physical evolution, but what we ignore in our day to day lives, is the greatest evolution of all: the evolution of the mind. I don't think many of you could disagree with me if I made the point, now, that the "human" of 2008 is a very different "human" from 1908.

It is not just the knowlege that we have gained over the years that distinguishes us, but is the way in which we view the world, and the perspectives we take to view everyday situations that keeps changing, and is what makes humans, human.

She and I sat there for what felt like an eternity.

I returned to the house, and checked the time. I had been out there for a mere thirteen minutes.

Labels: bliss, evolution, humans, learning, life, philosphy, possiblity

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Quite evidently, I have just created a blog site for myself!

I'm not quite sure where to begin, but I guess I'll give you a little update on my life so far to begin the blogs. (Oh gee, aren't I creative?)

WELL, I'm currently 13 years old at the moment, so my life hasn't been all to long, exciting or philosphical. I suppose there isn't much about me worth telling the world, apart from the fact that life has been pretty good to me up until this year, which has been pretty shit.

I really don't know how to explain myself too well, so I'll just leave you a montage of not-very-interesting sentences about me... *montage! montage!*

I like to be different, although sometimes, I do try to be "same". I figure if everyone's trying to be a different, there isn't really anybody else being the same, is there? I'm a real 20th Century kind of girl, and I'm into pretty much anything post 19thC, and pre 21stC. I'm a MUSO and proud of it. Baroque + Oldies music is the best though. I like to laugh, a lot - it's the best thing in the world. Acknowledging your feelings is healthy; dwelling in them isn't. I like music, a lot. I also like logical things, like maths and grammar. I have and irrational fear of running behind people, and people who don't care. I like Doctor Who!

Here's a link to my myspace page, just in case you want to know more. (Yeah okay, you probably won't but it doesn't hurt now, does it?): www.myspace.com/vivienloveshim.

P.S.: Please don't ask about the name of my myspace page :(. I DIDN'T MAKE IT. Vivien thinks it's somewhat lame, and has since then moved on since said him anyway.

Labels: about, begin, blog, life, me, new, vivien

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